12 Tips for How to Survive Long Distance Relationships

Instead of waiting by the mailbox for a love letter, people now sitting by their phone waiting for the ping of a text message.

Technology has ushered in a golden age of long distance relationships.

But that doesn’t mean long distance dating is easy.

These 12 tips will help couples survive their long distance relationships. So keep reading below.

1. Communicate… But Not Constantly

No amount of texting, video chatting, or phone calls can make up for the time two partners spend apart. So don’t make that the main focus.

Partners should communicate often, but not constantly.

People should give the same amount of free time they would have in a short distance relationship. Trying to stay in contact at all times isn’t possible, and it can build stress in the relationship.

Partners should let each other know when they can and can’t stay in touch. If one has a busy day coming up, they should let the other know where they’ll be and why they can’t message them.

2. Stick to a Schedule

Creating a schedule might sound rigid, but it will give some normalcy to the relationship and help couples make it through the times when they aren’t with their partner.

Plan the visits. If partners plan to visit each other once every two weeks, they should put those dates in their schedule.

Partners can set up “date nights” when they aren’t together. Partners should have several nights a week to video chat or do things together.

Once they know their schedule, couples should stick to it. The visits and date nights should become a priority.

3. Set Realistic Expectations and Goals

Couples should talk about their expectations and goals with their partner at the beginning of a long distance relationship. This will allow them to figure out how they want to maintain the relationship when they’re apart.

If partners don’t make their expectations clear at the beginning, they can get lost in the psychological challenge of the situation.

Partners should also make sure they have similar relationship goals. How long will the distance last? What are the future relationship plans?

Different or unclear goals can create friction in the relationship. Set expectations and goals and continue to talk about these things often.

4. Have Quality Conversations

Not being able to see their partner every day is difficult, but it does present people with an interesting opportunity. Because they don’t have to waste words on trivial, day-to-day things, the relationship can become more satisfying.

Many long distance relationships promote higher quality conversations than short distance relationships.

Before calling a partner at the end of the day, people should reflect on the important events that happened. This gives them a chance to plan what they want to say and how they want to say it.

And above all, partners must be honest. They should talk about fears, dreams, insecurities, and anything else that’s important to them. Vulnerability is the key to any relationship.

5. But Don’t Skip Over the “Boring” Details

While couples need to have quality conversations, don’t let that take over simple communication. If they don’t share the random and sometimes boring details of their day, it’ll be hard to feel like they’re a part of each other’s lives.

This can cause partners to grow apart.

Couples should tell each other what they ate for lunch, who they talked to, and what they did that day.

6. Don’t Just Rely on Technology

Technology lets couples stay in contact with each other, but it shouldn’t take the place of physical reminders.

Partners need things that make them think of their partner during the day. This might be a sweatshirt, a present, or an item that makes them think of a happy memory.

Taking time to send each other gifts or letters in the mail is a fun gesture. It also lets partners know they’re thinking of each other.

7. Don’t Give Up the Personal Life

A person should never put their life on hold because their partner isn’t with them. Just because they’re along doesn’t mean they have to be lonely. They should enjoy the time they get to spend with their friends or family members.

Couples must maintain their independence.

They should go out, do things, and have fun.

Creating a healthy personal life will, in turn, give them a healthy relationship. If they put all their focus and attention on the relationship, it will add a lot of pressure.

8. Do Things Together Even When They’re Apart

Couples must make sure they do fun things with their partner even when they’re separated by distance.

This might include playing a video game online, watching a movie together, or reading the same book. They can go on walks together while they video chat. They can shop together online. They can try cooking the same meal for dinner.

Creativity is key.

9. Don’t Overplan Time Together

Packing too many activities into a visit can make the time together stressful.

Couples shouldn’t feel like they have to make every moment they spend together in person “count.” Relationships build intimacy in the small moments as well as the big ones.

Downtime isn’t wasted opportunities. Instead, this time allows partners to relax, breathe, and connect with each other.

10. Create a Routine to Share

A shared routine will help the relationship feel more stable and consistent. And this ritual doesn’t have to be big or time-consuming.

It might mean partners text each other as soon as they wake up every morning and call each other every night before they go to bed.

11. Trust Their Partner

Trust is the basis of any relationship, near or far. People must learn to trust their partner and earn their partner’s trust.

Broken trust can lead to the breakdown of the relationship. And broken trust doesn’t just come from cheating. Did a partner call when they said they would? Do they make their partner a priority even when they’re apart? Do they stick to the visit schedule?

Failing to do these things can damage a partner’s trust in you.

12. Stay Positive

Remember, this distance is only temporary. Find the positive parts of the relationship and focus on them.

A long distance relationship might be hard, but it’s an opportunity. If a couple can learn to live apart, it will be that much easier to learn how to live together.

How to Survive Long Distance Relationships

Sexual tension is an important and central part of many relationships. So partners ignore their sexual desire during a long distance relationship.

It’s okay to talk dirty to each other or send sexy pictures.

But there are a few guidelines they should follow.

Take a look at this guide to learn the dos and don’t of sexting for couples.