Adele, Beyonce, and Justin Bieber all sing about it. The sad realization that a relationship has come to its end. The hurt, regret, and hollowness that comes from it.
Yet of all these broken relationships, as many as 50% of couples end up getting back together. The reason for this is because the couple wasn’t truly ready to call it quits.
So why not save yourselves the heartache, and instead work together to mend the relationship. A little relationship repair can go a long way between two people who still feel the love for one another.
Follow these 8 steps to save your relationship.
1. Plan a Date
Dating… it’s one of the most important steps to fixing a relationship. It allows you to add in some romance and break away from everyday norms. It creates excitement and anticipation in even the longest of relationships.
Repeating the same routine can lead to boredom in any relationship. Aim to go on a date once a week, trying something new each time. Here are a few unique date ideas to test out.
You may also want to add in some humor every now and then. Plan a game night, watch funny movies, or visit a comedy club. Shared laughter can increase the quality of your relationship.
Another idea is to recreate your first date. It will help you both remember why you fell in love. If the first date occurred in another city or state, make a fun and romantic trip out of it.
2. Get the Conversation Started
Poor communication is the number one reason couples call it quits. Since we cannot read minds, communication is key for any healthy relationship.
If either partner is feeling unhappy or disconnected, talk it out. It will help identify problems or stressors in the relationship. It also encourages people to reconnect and repair a relationship.
Learn to share your feelings and voice what you expect from your partner. Use emotional words and body language cues to describe feelings. Be honest and keep lines of communication flowing.
Be sure to alternate between listening and speaking. Don’t interrupt and don’t be dismissive. Practice empathy and put yourself in your partner’s shoes when needed.
Always limit distractions when having an important conversation. Here are a few conversation starter topics to get the words flowing.
3. Set the Mood
A healthy sex life is a secret weapon for a long and happy relationship. It keeps the connection alive between two people. It boosts confidence and pleasure in the bedroom.
Wondering how to mend a relationship that has lost that spark?
Consider spicing up your bedroom routine. Use lingerie, sex toys, or risque pictures. Here are more sex tips for getting the passion back.
Remove unwanted distractions like phones and TVs. Many couples with healthy sex lives follow a no TV in the bedroom rule. Less time with technology before bed leaves more time for other things.
4. Learn the Art of Compromise
Repairing broken relationships becomes easier when both partners can learn to compromise. It’s not about winning an argument or proving you’re right. But about finding that balance between two people’s needs.
It’s always easy to place blame on one person. Yet, consider that you both may be at fault. Be conscious of each other’s feelings and show thanks and appreciation when needed.
Sometimes you’ll need to be the bigger person. Don’t be so stubborn to not be able to apologize or admit you’re wrong about something.
It’s important to avoid stonewalling. Shutting down during disagreements will only lead to bigger communication problems.
5. Find New Ways to Reconnect
Science shows that the longer you’re together, the less likely couples are to break up. A relationship can stand the test of time when you find new ways to reconnect with one another.
Keep things from getting stale by taking a class together. Or learn a new hobby, like painting, pottery, or photography. Try meditation or a couples yoga class.
Give back to the community and volunteer together. Helping others creates feelings of teamwork and commitment.
Plan a fun vacation for only the two of you. Start a bucket list and cross off places and accomplishments together.
When learning how to repair a relationship, don’t underestimate the importance of alone time. Little breaks from your partner will allow you to miss each other more.
6. Don’t Repeat the Same Mistakes
Evoke change and don’t be afraid of it. Repairing a relationship may involve changes in mindset or habits. It can also help to stop each other from repeating the same mistakes.
If someone has already gotten forgiven for a past mistake, don’t use it against them in an argument. Adopt a positive, open, and trusting attitude. It will keep you from rehashing the same arguments again and again.
Over time you will learn each other’s behavioral patterns. Take note of certain triggers that can anger or upset your partner. Avoid using these triggers to keep disagreements from getting out of control.
7. Take a Break
Not like the drama of Ross and Rachel… but your relationship may need a little space sometimes.
It’s important to always pay attention to body language. Look for cues that either partner is reaching a breaking point.
If an argument starts to get heated, hit pause. Don’t let it escalate to a screaming match or risk saying something you don’t mean.
You should each try a change of scenery. Give each other some time to cool down and talk again with a level head. Take this time to reflect and consider your partner’s perspective.
8. Adopt a Proactive Mindset
When both partners practice a proactive approach, it can save the relationship.
It’s important to pay attention to any changes in the relationship. These can be a lifestyle, behavioral, or physical change. All are indicators that you may need to check in with your partner to make sure all is okay.
This allows you to address issues before they turn into big problems. It also shows that you respect your partner and your commitment to each other.
Remember that no relationship is perfect and every couple goes through bumps in the road. You may want to consider couples counseling to buffer a fragile time in your relationship.
The Secrets of Successful Relationship Repair
Successful relationship repair involves commitment and caring. It requires both partners to make an effort and work together to fix any issues that arise.
Remember you’re building a foundation that needs support from both people. Learn together as the relationship grows. Take it day by day and focus on small things rather than big grand gestures.
Here is a list of 11 little things you can do every day to add strength and stability to your relationship.