We’ve all heard the stories of sex becoming stale or even nonexistent in long-term relationships and marriages. Maybe you’re both missing the excitement and passion that pushed you two together like magnets early on.
Or you’ve become awkwardly comfortable with a routine that needs spicing up since having a baby. Regardless of the cause, there are ways to bring the adventure back into the bedroom, kitchen, or living room with his and hers sex toys.
Follow along, we’ve got you covered!
Where the Conversation Starts
Because of the sensitivities, egos, and awkwardness that can come up when talking about experimenting sexually, people deny their relationships of these conversations. Afterall, nobody wants to make their partner feel like they aren’t good enough. And you don’t want your partner to think the things you’re into are weird.
There are ways to ask your partner about using his and hers sex toys without it becoming an awkward or threatening topic. Remember that two of the keys to healthy relationships are open communication and satisfying sex.
Here’s how to approach the idea:
Keep it Casual
Bringing sex toys into your relationship is a conversation you can have while you’re on the couch sharing a bowl of popcorn and watching Seinfeld reruns. People tend to think of this as a dramatic proclamation.
But talking about ways to improve your sex life shouldn’t feel like you’re revealing a cancer diagnosis. It should be as normal to your relationship as choosing a restaurant for date night.
Know What You Want
If your energy is nervous, your partner’s will be too. Watching you stumble while trying to tell them something will bring unnecessary anxiety into the room.
Come to them already knowing about one or two toys you’d like to try. Explain how the toys are used and give them a chance to share their opinions.
Your confidence will make your partner comfortable, even if they’d never touched a sex toy a day in their life. Add to the anticipation by showing them a video of the toy being used if you’ve enjoyed watching porn together before.
Know Your Partner
We all ask the question, “What’s in it for me?” multiple times throughout our lives. This time answer the question before it can even be asked by suggesting a toy that provides a type of stimulation your partner is especially into.
For example, if the person you’re with loves to be submissive suggest a restraint kit or gag as your first toy together.
You’re happy. You’re in love. Whether you’ve been together for 2 years or 20, talking about sex should be fun.
You can make a sexy game out of asking to try out a new toy. Break the ice by laughing about weird laws about sex and sex toys. Incorporate role play, share fantasies and add some kissing and touching.
Introducing sex toys is about increasing your bond and pleasure. When you think about it that way, there’s no reason to feel uneasy.
Just don’t catch your partner off guard by pulling a toy out in the middle of sex. Know your audience, some people don’t like to be surprised that way.
His and Hers Sex Toys
This is the fun part. What toy will you both agree to try first?
The best sex toys for couples are the multifunctional ones that offer both of your stimulation at the same time. But then, maybe you want to pass something back and forth.
The only limits here are your willingness and imagination. We put a list together to help simplify the process.
We-Vibe 4 Plus
This popular couple’s vibrator has been improved with a free app you can use when you’re in the same room or on different continents. Within the app, you (or your partner) can control the intensity of the vibrations while you enjoy each other over a video call, internal chat messaging, or voice calls.
When you’re together, the We-Vibe goes into the vagina for g-spot and clitoral stimulation during intercourse.
When shopping for a cock ring, choose one made from a stretchy material like rubber or silicone, so that it slides on and off with ease. A man can use them on his on, or with a partner.
Cock rings work by slowing down the blood flow in the penis, making it more sensitive, keeping it harder longer, and increasing the intensity of orgasms.
You can purchase one that vibrates for both of you to share the stimulation. When trying it in different positions, the intensity will vary. There’s always something new.
This cock ring won’t run out since it’s chargeable instead of battery operated. And it provides clitoral stimulation.
From the outside, they look like any other pair of women’s lacy underwear. But really, they are a guarantee of a fun night.
Give your man the remote while you’re out with friends and allow him to discreetly tease you until it’s time to go home (if you last that long.)
Sex swings are great for couples who want to experiment with bondage and restraints. Choose one that hangs from a door in your house as an easy tool-free option, especially if you’re renting.
The right swing can help you switch to new positions and test your limits. Just put something soft like an air mattress under it just in case someone falls.
This vibrator can be used alone or with a partner. It’s fully waterproof, so bring it for memorable shower and bath play.
The gentle vibes from this toy are especially great if you’re sensitive to other vibrators. ORA 2 is rechargeable, has 10 pleasure settings, and it won the Cannes Lions award for creativity.
Keeping the Romance Alive
No matter how long you’ve been together, you and your significant other can continue to explore one another with his and hers sex toys.