Love can be complicated but it can also be beautiful – in fact, love has been the driving force behind many a historic battle in the past.
But what is it about long-term love that seems to evade us and erode relationships? Why should long-term commitment foster neglect?
The truth is that life just seems to get in the way for many couples.
Children, the stresses of work, household chores, fatigue- this can all lead to neglect between two people who may seem ”happily married”.
But one thing is for certain, caring relationships take work – there are no two ways about it. Love should not be forced, but a happy relationship often requires more than love!
If you’re looking for simple ways to rekindle the kindness and intimacy in your relationship, add these acts of kindness to your couples to do list.
Causes of Relationship Neglect
While the busyness of life can get in the way of intimacy and affection between long-term couples, neglect is often the root cause.
As the years pass between you and your partner you may lose sight of the state of your relationship and what your partner really needs.
While no single person is to blame – it’s usually a joint-failing of both parties. Neglect can easily creep into your relationship without actively working to care for your partner.
Some of the most harmful thoughts surrounding long-term love and simple acts of kindness may include:
1. Small Acts of Kindness are Non-Essential
You’ve been in a committed relationship for 10 years, so why do you still need to tickle your partner’s back at night or make their morning coffee?
This thought process is detrimental because it leads a partner to believe that they have become a non-essential in your life.
Choosing work priorities or children’s duties over your partner is a form of neglect. Of course, your children are a priority, but so is the partner who gave them to you.
2. Isn’t Love Supposed to be Spontaneous?
Sure, maybe when you’re 17 and high-school sweethearts! Long-term love and commitment is about much more than spontaneity, although this doesn’t mean it should be neglected.
If you have to put in a little extra effort to plan a night out or a weekend getaway, this is only natural. In fact, the planning can add to the build-up and excitement.
Many couples believe that planning and routine is the death of the spark in a relationship. But long-term commitment will always require a little planning!
3. Love Shouldn’t be Hard Work
Falling in love is most certainly about a physical spark, but more importantly, it’s based on emotional connection. True, long-lasting love is also largely based on how your partner makes you feel about yourself.
Many couples believe that love is magical feeling which should just happen ”naturally”. Initially, this may be the case. But long-term it will require a little legwork.
Being with someone for a lifetime is no walk in the park- you will go through tumultuous ups and downs which can deeply affect your relationship.
A little bit of effort and everyday kindness will go a long way in making your love last.
10 Acts of Kindness to Add to your Couples to do List
Acts of kindness can be defined as both verbal and nonverbal expressions towards your significant other.
Examples of caring include showing interest, concern, affection, care, allowing them to moan and groan when needed.
Here are 10 simple examples of caring and kindness to show your partner:
1. Let Your Partner Sleep In
Choose a day over the weekend and make an effort to wake up a little earlier than your partner.
Take the initiative and look after your children for an hour or so while your partner sleeps in and catches up on some much-needed rest.
Make it all the more special and cook them breakfast in bed for no reason at all, other than you love and appreciate them!
2. Arrange a Surprise Date
Spontaneous dates may be out-of-the-question when you become parents to more than one child. But this doesn’t mean date night is over forever!
Arrange a babysitter and make a booking at your partner’s favorite restaurant for a date night and some one-on-one time.
Even if you haven’t had a one-on-one date in months, bite the bullet and make the first move. There’s no room for martyrs in happy, long-term relationships.
3. Make Your Partner’s Favorite Meal
If you have some spare time during the week or even over the weekend, make the effort to cook up your partner’s favorite dish. If it’s something sweet, then bake your way back into their hearts.
Sharing a meal with your partner that they truly appreciate will help them to realize you still value them and want to make them happy.
4. Draw them a Bath
Is there anything more relaxing than a long, warm bath after a busy day? Not much else comes close.
If you know your partner has had a hectic day, draw them a deep bath and keep the children entertained while they unwind for the day.
Better yet, put the children to bed during this time and your partner can hop from bath to bed for a good night’s rest.
5. Complete an Outdated Chore
There’s always a bunch of chores or errands which need to be completed around the house which grates on the nerves of one partner or the other.
Dedicate a weekend to tacking these outdated chores. Whether it’s cleaning out an over-cluttered closet, replacing broken light bulbs or repainting the backyard fence, this can go a long way in removing tension in your household!
6. Play Babysitter for the Night
Every partner needs a ”night off” once in a while, so make the effort to look after the kids for an evening while your significant other has some ”me time”.
Whether they choose a night out with friends, a movie marathon night or some pamper time, give them the leeway to do so.
7. Increase Signs of Affection
One of the first things to go out the window in a long-term relationship? Showing affection towards your partner.
Whether this stems from a loss of physical chemistry or waiting for your partner to make the first move, it’s damaging to your relationship.
Try and show simple signs of affection or increase their occurrence. Surprise your partner with more hugs, hold their hand and kiss them- affection is the ultimate expression of love.
8. Create a Personalized Space for your Partner
Does your significant other have a favorite hobby but just not enough space or time for it in your home?
Take some to create a special, personalized space which allows them the opportunity to engage in this hobby more often.
9. Encourage New Hobbies
If your other half has recently taken up running, but looking for motivation, run alongside them when and where you can.
If they’re interested in taking dance classes, offer to be their dance partner and encourage new hobbies. After all, you’ll be spending more time together which could bring you closer.
10. Arrange an Old School Movie Night
Drop the kids off at your parents or a close friend and kit out the lounge with a bed, your favorite treats, and an old-school favorite movie.
Take the time to cuddle, indulge in old memories and rekindle your affections.
Looking for More Relationship Advice?
At Fresh In Love, we offer articles, tips, and advice on how to keep the love alive in your relationship.
Whether it’s acts of kindness to add to your couples to do list, date night ideas or how to boost your sex drive – we supply it all.