About 11% of people say their partner is the person they lie to the most. While everyone tells a white lie now and again, routine lying is a quick way to cause any relationship to implode.
If you suspect your partner is lying, it’s only natural to feel confused and angry. But how can you tell if your partner is really being dishonest or if they’re actually telling the truth?
Luckily, most people will display some telltale signs of lying. If you keep your eyes and ears open, you may be able to catch them in the act.
Do you want to know what we’re talking about? Keep reading to find out more.
1. They Avoid Eye Contact
This first sign is probably the most well-known on the list. Because of that, some people have learned how to maintain eye contact in order to make their lies more believable.
However, there are still many who will avoid eye contact when they’re lying. They may even turn away to avoid facing you altogether. They may also look at your forehead in an attempt to make it look like they’re making eye contact.
2. Their Words and Body Language Don’t Match
People naturally express themselves with a mixture of verbal (speaking) and non-verbal communication (body language). If there’s a disconnect between the two, the liar’s body may be giving them away.
Oftentimes, people will say “yes” but will shake their head “no” ever so slightly. Another example is if someone says they’re fine, but they look worried or are frowning.
3. Their Speech Pattern Changes
Have you ever noticed yourself stammering or talking fast when giving a speech in school or at work? It’s one of the many ways your body may react when you’re nervous.
Those who are lying often feel nervous and will exhibit many of the same signs. They may also speak slower than normal, indicating that they’re trying to think of what to say next to continue their lie.
4. The Say They’re Telling the Truth
Liars often try to overcompensate by telling others they’re being truthful. Look out for overuse of phrases like “believe me”, “to be honest”, and “to tell the truth.”
However, some people will also say these out of frustration during long arguments when they really are being truthful and the other person refuses to believe them. So, keep your ears open for repeated use of these phrases during calm talks or when first confronted.
5. They Avoid Direct Answers
On the flip side, some liars will avoid giving any direct answers at all. For example, instead of saying “I didn’t do that,” they’ll say, “I wouldn’t do that.” They may also try to involve you by saying things like, “do you really believe I’d do that?” or “how could you think I’d do that?”
When trying to get the truth, imagine they’re taking a lie detector test. Ask them straight forward questions and listen for direct answers.
6. They Hesitate
While some liars may have had time to work on their story, other’s will hesitate when put on the spot. If they take a long pause after you ask them a question, it may be because they’re thinking of a lie.
This will be one of the biggest signs to look out for, especially if you’re in a long distance relationship and have to confront them over the phone.
7. They Try to Buy Time
Many liars will try to buy themselves some time in order to avoid the awkward hesitation that is sure to give them away. Oftentimes they’ll repeat the question or ask, “what?” in an attempt to stall.
Of course, there are instances where the person really is just trying to clarify what they heard. If they’re in another room or occupied doing something else, this shouldn’t be taken as a sign of lying. But be wary if they do this when you’re in the middle of a conversation and they can obviously hear you.
8. Their Story Is Inconsistent
It’s not always easy keeping a lie straight, especially if it’s detailed. However, even truthful people can forget small details or remember additional things each time they tell a story.
When looking for an inconsistent story, focus on the big details. These are the parts most truthful people will remember clearly, but liars may forget once they think they’re out of the woods. Of course, if most or all of the small details are changing with each telling, that’s also a sign they’re lying.
9. They Fidget
Along with avoiding eye contact, fidgeting is one of the most obvious and well-known signs that someone is lying.
Telling a lie is uncomfortable and nerve-wracking for most, so their body may react by fidgeting in an attempt to get comfortable and relieve those jittery feelings. Shifting weight, playing with their hair, licking their lips, and squirming in their seats are all signs to look out for.
10. They Appear Stiff
Of course, not everyone’s body responds to nerves the same way. While some may fidget, others may tense up and appear stiff.
During a normal conversation, people typically move their hands and maintain a relaxed posture. If you notice their movements seem restricted or their arms and legs are pulled in towards their body, they may be lying.
Biggest Signs of Lying
Determining if someone is lying can be tricky. But if you notice that someone is displaying several of the signs of lying listed above, there’s a good chance they aren’t being truthful.
Has lying caused you and your partner to break up and get back together numerous times? Often, these types of relationships can be stressful and unhealthy. Check out this article to decide if an on-again-off-again relationship is worth it.
