You’ve experienced some changes in your relationship over the course of time – it’s only natural. However, it’s clear that this time was pretty major, and you honestly don’t know what to do about it.
First and foremost: know that this is okay. A relationship wouldn’t be a relationship if changes weren’t involved. Secondly, there are ways to cope with this – to better understand the change and even accept your partner for it.
Keep reading to find out how you can handle relationship changes in your life. Your love life is sure to grow stronger because of it.
Stop Blaming Yourself for the Relationship Changes
The first thing that you need to do is to not blame yourself.
Blaming yourself will only lead to anger and hatred, which you’ll throw back onto your partner – and that will only serve the widen the divide.
If there’s one thing you should know, it’s that there’s a very good chance whatever your partner is going through isn’t caused by you. If anything, they may need you to help them get through the rough patch, so blaming yourself and running away is the last thing you should do.
Just take some time to sort things out with yourself before you try to do anything else.
Don’t Be Afraid to Talk It Out
When you notice something is changing with your partner, one of the worst things you could do is keep silent about it.
You partner has changed, sure enough, but only you have noticed it (either that or they’re just really comfortable with the change). If you keep quiet they’ll never know what they’re doing wrong, and it’ll continue to grow worse.
The two of you are supposed to be a team, and a team cannot function if there’s no communication.
Find a good time to talk with your spouse – the sooner, the better, but don’t rush it if you aren’t ready.
It’s also best that you don’t beat around the bush. As couples, we’re prone to constantly being indirect in order to protect our partner’s pride, but that isn’t the way to go with something this serious (or in general).
You can be direct without being rude. Let them know what they’re doing, and tell them how you feel about the change. There’s a very good chance that the matter can be solved much quicker than you think.
When you do talk, make sure you address the situation in the first person.
Yes, it may feel weird talking as if you are the one causing the problem, but studies show that saying “you” throughout the argument is just as bad as pointing fingers.
By saying “I would like if…” instead of “You really need to…”, it takes the pressure off of the situation and allows you the opportunity to set things straight.
Find Something Fun to Do Yourself
It could be the case that your partner has made a good change. Maybe he’s getting out more and exploring new things. Maybe she’s finally reconnecting with her girls after being MIA for a good while.
Whatever the case, that’s great news. It could be even better news if you did the same thing yourself.
This doesn’t have to be like one of those cheesy romance novels where one spouse sits and waits restlessly for the other one to come home. It’s 2018; you’re not confined to your house.
If you see your partner is doing something really fun, why not get into it with them? It could be something you never thought you would get into, and if it gets you out of your comfort zone, all the better.
There’s also the option of doing new things without being with your significant other. After all, you don’t have to do everything together.
Why not get back in touch with the friends back home? Or check out a place you’ve never seen? Maybe even start a new hobby? The possibilities are endless.
You can also just use this time to take a breather. Let’s face it: no matter how much you love someone, you can only be around them for so long before things get a little stale, or even (gasp!) annoying.
Everyone needs some alone time to find themselves. Use the space left by your spouse’s adventures to do a little soul searching.
Know When Enough Is Enough
No one likes the thought of losing their partner, but in the most dire situations that may be your only option.
While small change is simple to work out between one another, bigger problems may need to be taken up with a counselor.
Talking to a relationship advisor is a great way to bring in someone who isn’t clouded by the emotions that the situation brings. They could very well spot the problem and help you find a healthy solution.
However, sometimes there are problems that simply cannot be fixed.
If your partner’s new habits are extremely toxic to the relationship, and if they refuse to try to make it work, then it’s best to call it quits.
No one should have to hold on to someone in such a situation. The person that you loved is gone, and in their place stands someone completely different – someone who does not make you happy.
If something serious like an ultimate lack of empathy or even cheating occurs, move on and find someone who truly cares about your well-being. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness, and you shouldn’t be left out.
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